NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
