I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
