If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
