She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
