your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize