Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
