you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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