After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
