Your mouth is God's brothel.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
