Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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