hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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