What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
