i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
