I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
The power of my boobs compel you
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
