I think I am morally bankrupt
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
