So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I could make wine with my vomit
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
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Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
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When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize