I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Randomize
