If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Randomize
