the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize