he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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