Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
