I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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