your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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