You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
