it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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