Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Non-Jews are for practice
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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