I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
