My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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