I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
