remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
