tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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