why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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