I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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