I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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