i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
