I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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