The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
