You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
