Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
