Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
