3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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