Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize