I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
