def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
