All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
