Christians are straight up FREAKS
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
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Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
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High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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