I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
