She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize