Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
