Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
