I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
