We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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