Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
