Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
