Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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