Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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