a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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