my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize