She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
smell my finger.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
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