1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
