im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
