And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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