Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize