fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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