Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize