Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
