It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
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Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
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The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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