if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
