Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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