Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
