woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
