it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
