It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just googled if crying burns calories
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
