i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
