Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
